(no subject)

"All I can give you," my godmother whispered, "is a secret name."

I don't remember that, being a newborn at the time. I didn't learn about it until I was seven, when some older kids were bullying me.

Suddenly, a dragon landed behind me.

"This," it said, "is my Hoard."

That's me.

(no subject)

"There are so many books I have to read," the first ghost said. "I haunt the library."

"I haunt an apartment complex," the second said. "For films and TV shows."

They turned to the third ghost. "What's your unfinished business?"

"An internet argument."

"Dude, let it go."

(no subject)

By entering the galactic scene by beating an Ikk'ii invasion, humans became known as fearsome warriors.

It became fashionable to have one on crew, and it emerged there were different kinds.

The most prized were polite, helpful, yet could intimidate even other humans: Librarians.

(no subject)

"How did you find out?" Dr Dastard asked.

"You told the world. Or will tell," Captain Clever said.

"Oh, yes, that's right. But-"

"I'm here to stop you. As usual."

"I am trying to help! Was. Will be."

"We are only turning the clocks back an hour. Not time itself!"

(no subject)

"I think it is a bit unfair you get nine lives," the dog said.

"That's a myth," said the cat.

"I've seen you do things that would kill me, and walk off as if nothing happened."

"Exactly."

"Huh?"

"You just have to be more confident than Death."

"Just?"

"What? Like it's hard?"

The Doctor

The doctor peeked into the workshop. "Is anyone-"

"Me," the mechanic grunted.

"It's late, we-"

"Busy."

The doctor looked at the crushed droid on the workbench. "With that?"

"There's still a spark!"

"So?"

"Never took an oath like you, but it's a sentient being!"

"Oh! Can I help?"

Time

"But why me?"

The Time Police officer zips up the body bag holding my would-be assassin. "I can't say."

"Please, there's been hundreds. What will I do?"

The officer hesitates. "You'll create us."

They both disappear.

(no subject)

As they pried open the ancient tomb, they faintly heard a cruel laugh.

She peered at the glyphs carved on the wall. "Does this mean 'curse'?"

"Yes," her husband said. "Then 'lust'. And 'men'?"

"We've been cursed to be attracted to men?"

"No change, then."

"True. Stupid old bigot."